Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Satan

Why do people insist that the "greatest trick Satan ever pulled" was to convince people he does not exist? Believing God does not exist is the belief that sends one to hell rather than anything to do with Satan.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

What Proves God, If He Exists, Is a Jackass

I am going to compile a list that prove that if a singular God/God-Trinity/whatever exists, then he is a jackass, and if multiple exist, then at least one is a jackass:

1) Ladies growing mustaches
2) The greatest gaming system ever, the magnificent Dreamcast, failing so drastically.
3) Mother's Cookies went out of business. D:
4) Women wearing nail polish, thinking they actually look glamorous and so cutely colorful, and expecting men to worship this eloquent adornment of theirs when actually it looks like a cat puked strange colors on their nails.
5) Women being accused of being "subconsciously predisposed to being raped" for being violated by callous, craven men.
6) Forcing children to dress up like they are upper class, medieval citizens. When it is mandatory it is child abuse and should be considered utterly outrageous.
7) Pretty much all 'morally offensive' hip-hop lyrics, not because of the wrongs they may or may not espouse, but because of the fact people rock the fuck out to these oft terrible ideas.
8) Ratty ass, blonde dye jobs. If I wanted to look at hay all the time, then I would be working as a farmhand.
9) Women counting out change at counters to pay for goods and services and wasting their time and my time. Welcome to 1950, jackasses.
10) Condoms on strap ons in lesbian porn, a gross turn off if ever I saw one (if you do not know which application of gross I mean there, then you are pretty grossly stupid).
11) Gum on the bottom of desks.